For Seller

By: Beverley Pechin

Surrogacy Was the Way: Twenty Intended Mothers
Tell Their Stories
By Zara Griswold
Nightengale Press (2006)
Reviewed by Beverly Pechin for Reader Views (3/06)

"Surrogacy Was the Way" is a wonderful resource for any couple going
through the trials and tribulations of wanting to become pregnant but
without the success. While the author also touches on other aspects
that she or others have attempted, the reason for the book is to share
wonderful, touching stories about surrogacy’s that have worked out
well for the couples involved. It’s a realistic overview of couples from
all walks of life and fertility problems of varying types.

The book begins with the author’s journey. She tells of how she
investigated herself the various ideas, methods, and costs involved with
surrogacy. While so much bad press is out there, in particular the Baby
M story of years ago, most people fear the idea or often think it’s
something for only the rich. Zara Griswold puts some of these fears
and myths to rest and shows that average couples can do this with a
little planning ahead and a lot of footwork. What I loved most about the
book was, she didn’t just list what she did to make her dreams come
true but what many other couples did in various ways. She also
provides a wonderful reference section in the back of the book guiding
couples to the right resources and a listing of medical terms that those
involved may come across often.

None of the stories are candy coated. She tells of problems, fights,
downfalls and moments of despair. But she also shows that if the
couple remains strong, their dreams can be reached. At the end of every
story the couple comments that the end result was worth all they went
through. Zara puts the final feelings and results in a postscript at the
end of every story to show how the couple handled the final results.

A feeling only couples, and in particular women, whom have
encountered infertility problems can relate to so intensely - the author
tells her own story and the story of other ‘mother’s to be’ detailing how
they both felt before knowing there was a way to get their family. She
covers the times before and during the surrogacy, while they were a
‘bystander’. Some couples involvement is very intense, some by choice
not so intense. Each story covered various styles, various income
levels, various abilities and most of all the various surrogates that can be
found. Amazingly, she covers some stories of relatives who volunteer
their bodies for the surrogacy. This was an amazing part of the book to
me, as I often wondered how it would work out for a surrogate mother
to later see ‘her child’ being raised by someone else; but you will be
amazed to find how they really relate to the entire surrogacy.

Written in laymen’s terms and from the heart, "Surrogacy Was the
Way" brings a real life problem into light. It allows the couple and
especially the woman to feel good about herself, about her choices,
about her control over something she may have otherwise never felt in
control of. Sometimes harshly realistic when dealing with feelings, this
book will put many questions out of your mind and make you feel as
though you truly did research the idea of surrogacy to the best of your
ability.

This book is a MUST for the library of anyone dealing with infertility.
Even if surrogacy isn’t something you might have truly considered, this
book will give you an insight that perhaps you never realized was there.
I know I had no clue. I think it could benefit anyone facing infertility,
even to help decide that maybe the surrogacy is NOT for you, but to at
least cover the aspects of it so thoroughly and concisely you feel better
about the final decision of what avenue you will take. It’s time to take
control of your own destiny and this book allows you to do so.

Beverly Pechin is a reviewer for Reader Views
http://www.readerviews.com