For Seller

By: Lisa Koosis

If the law of kinetic energy applied to novels, then “King of the Sun” by A.A. McFedries would have turned out just fine. After all, a body in motion tends to remain in motion, while a body at rest tends to remain at rest.

Unfortunately, the physics of fiction work a little differently, and often, that all-important forward motion is somehow, somewhere, lost.

“King of the Sun” impressed me almost immediately with both its rocket-fueled momentum and its pervasively creepy atmosphere. This was going to be a book to read late at night, lights blazing brightly, shades drawn tightly closed against the night.

“King of the Sun” follows Alicia Aldrich, a homicide detective on the male-dominated California Highway Patrol, as she investigates a series of peculiar, violent homicides. Though not by themselves unusual for the California police, the homicides, complete with mutilations, steer Alicia down an otherworldly path.

Though at first this appears to be a wonderful novel, “King of the Sun”’s major problem is that it stalls midway through the novel. It’s not that we, as readers, don’t grow to care about Alicia, nor is it that we don’t wonder what’s in store for her. It’s simply that at a certain point, there is no longer any forward motion to propel the plot — or the reader — along, and in fact, “King of the Sun” often backtracks, repeatedly retracing its own steps, and covering territory we’ve been over before — sometimes several times.

If “King of the Sun” were a person engaging you in conversation, you might very gently, elbow him in the ribs and whisper, “Just get on with it.”

“King of the Sun” gets mired in its own philosophical questions. Do aliens/ufos exist? What do they want from us? An entire chapter consists mainly of book excerpts on the possibility of ufos and extraterrestrial life. That’s a major fiction no-no.

And though “King of the Sun” does manage to hold some of its ambient creepiness through to the end (with some majorly spine-crawling moments), it is still a textbook example of wasted potential.

McFedries tries very hard to make “King of the Sun” work. Both protagonist and antagonist — the otherworldly Amos Joy — are well thought-out and well executed. A.A. McFedries has a solid writing style, and the enviable ability of being able to evoke mood. In fact, McFedries could have taken this story all the way.

However, what “King of the Sun” lacks is cohesiveness, and unfortunately, the parts of this story that held the latent energy so essential to good fiction are laid aside. The homicides are laid aside and all but forgotten by the time the novel is halfway over. Alicia’s rocky relationship with her family is laid aside, as is her relationship with her ex-partner. Even the much hinted at “real reason” she survived a near death experience is really never delved into in any depth. In the end, “King of the Sun”’s single-mindedness is its own downfall.

Even the climax lacks cohesiveness, as if McFedries couldn’t quite decide on a single resolution, instead, choosing three separate endings and blending them together into one mud puddle of a mess.

Ultimately, “King of the Sun” reads like a too-long short story, one that is long on potential and short on execution. And in the end, my sentiments on this book are much the same as the sentiments many an editor has shared with aspiring writers…

Good potential, but not quite there. Keep at it, and try me again sometime.

Lisa is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Poetry Contests.