For Seller

By: Brandon Mendelson

"Turd Ferguson" (or "That Guy"): An individual one does not wish to become. A social sore who decides things like exposing oneself in public or driving drunk are good ideas. Often commits party fouls. Sometimes someone’s alter ego; sometimes they are just like that all the time.

"Sausage Party": A gathering of many more men than women. Also known as a "Sausage Fest", "Weenie Roast", "Meat Market", or "Froman Fest" (Abe Froman, "The Sausage King of Chicago" from "Ferris Beueller’s Day Off.")

College life is hard to define. I used to have this argument every week during layout sessions for the SUNY Potsdam Racquette. Just what the hell was college life anyway? We had a "college life" section of the paper that was this giant amorphous blob of articles with no clear theme as to what the section was supposed to be. So when I see books advertising a collection of college slang and stories from students, I immediately think, "well, whose college slang? Whose stories?" Does what this book say about college life reflect all of us and our time at college? Is the slang used at private colleges in the southwest the same as what state colleges students say in the northeast?

Compiled by Ben Applebaum and Derrick Pittman of Collegestories.com, Turd Feguson & The Sausage Party is a compilation of stories and phrases submitted by college students throughout the country. While there are other books out there that profess to collect and define college slang, Turd Ferguson speaks to college students with no pretense or air of superiority. The slang and stories presented in the book are no different from what you would here at a party or by one of your classmates on any given day, and that is Turd Ferguson’s greatest strength. The book has a "for college students by college students" feel and provides for a quick and entertaining read.

I decided to give Turd Ferguson a test run at a recent get together. I hypothesized that the group’s reaction to the book would determine if it met the standard for college entertainment. If you’re not familiar, the standard for college entertainment is when people are introduced to a new item of attention, drop what they’re doing, and share it with each other. That’s how you know you have a success on a college campus. Most of the time students are bombarded with substandard crap that they couldn’t care less about. This isn’t student apathy like many people claim; it’s just a reaction from a generation of students who are constantly bombarded with advertisement and entertainment. Turd Ferguson not only meets the standard for college entertainment, it exceeds it. Everyone stopped watching Animal House long enough to thumb through the book and recite some of the terms they enjoyed the most.

Upon reading the book I confess I found some words that you might not ever hear on a college campus. In fact, I’d personally punch someone in the face for referring to a snack as "Mcgrubbies." But terms like this were so few and far between words you hear every single day that its almost irrelevant. Of course some words aren’t going to be universal, but the sheer amount of shared language you can find in the terms from this book is amazing. I was upset the book was so short. At only 84 pages you could finish this book during a layover at a bus station. As I got further into the reading I was hoping it would go on. One can only hope the editors of this book put out another edition with more stories and terms for us to enjoy.

Turd Feguson & The Sausage Party reminds me of this decades Piled Higher and Deeper by Simon Bronner. Piled Higher was a vast catalogue of Bronner’s definition of college life and stories. Turd Ferguson seems to go wonderfully with Piled Higher on any college student’s bookshelf. While Turd Ferguson doesn’t answer the dispute of what makes up college life, at only $12, you can’t go wrong with this entertaining romp.

Brandon J. Mendelson
http://www.yourcollegesurvivalguide.com